- It's the only solution, Will. - Well, not to me.
What if the I.N.S. guy drops by again?
Yeah, he's right, Will. I can't keep telling him you're at work
Or visiting your parents or something.
I mean, that's the stuff they look for.
Yeah. You got to be there.
Will, you've got to be living there.
Well, I like living here.
You're kidding me, right?
With a washing machine that clanks
And one tiny little window and no fresh air?
Yeah, but I'm all settled here.
Where the hell are my pants?
Here.
Thank you.
Well, is it a privacy issue?
About not having separate rooms?
Well, privacy is... is a factor, yes. So--
So we could totally work that out.
If you wanted to have Meredith come over or whatever
Then Holly could just spend the night over here.
Okay, that's another thing.
What is Meredith gonna say when she finds out I'm moving in with another woman?
Nothing. You just explain it to her.
I don't know. It just... it feels...
Will, hang on. I don't get it, man.
I don't get it.
Holly's place is so much nicer than this.
It's closer to where you work.
And it's the best way to keep the I.N.S. happy,
which you were so worried about before.
So, I mean, what gives?
I'll think about it, okay?
Right now I... I have to go to work.
♪ Everybody wants to live ♪
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
♪ And everybody wants to love ♪
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
♪ Everybody wants to be ♪
♪ Closer to free ♪
Jule, you want to come down and check your messages?
That reporter lady has called, like, 15 times.
Ignore her, Claud. I'm not calling her back.
I can't ignore her. Every time I pick up the phone, she beeps in.
Why don't you want to talk to her?
She wants to interview me for some online magazine.
She read my book online.
She thinks I have something to say to her readers.
Well, maybe you do.
Claud, she thinks I'm some pillar of strength
because I stood up to Ned, that I'm some role model.
So? You are, a little.
Claudia, look at me. I have been moping around in my sweats for, like, days.
Because why? Why? Because Adam is gone.
Because my man went away. I am not a role model.
Julia, I thought half the point of this book was helping people.
Look, I know.
Okay, I will call her back eventually, just not now.
I'm too busy being disgusted with myself to be strong for anyone else.
Any idea how long that might take?
Why?
She has a deadline in two days.
So, I, uh,
kind of made an appointment with her.
She's coming by later today.
-Claudia! -What? You can cancel,
but you'll have to call her.
So, hon, for the baby's room,
primary colors are supposed to be the most stimulating.
But then there's patterns versus solids,
brushed cotton versus chenille.
I don't know.
Child development's kind of your specialty.
All right, guys, so I'm off.
Gonna go meet my friends for happy hour
and then we're going to be out all night.
All night, so don't wait up, okay?
We won't.
-Have fun. -Yeah, have fun.
Yeah, 'cause I'm just saying, you know,
that Luke could be finding us an apartment back in Dallas any day now.
And I'd have to go straight back there, you know, so...
So this is my night to get crazy.
So I'm going to go out and cut it up like I used to, you know?
Daphne.
Why are you acting like...
Okay.
All right, I'll tell you why, okay?
Because I come back into town and I call Dusty, right?
And she goes, "Oh, hey, what do you think of Wipeout?"
Oh, that stuff's great.
It gets rid of that poopy smell like that.
No, it's a song, Kirsten.
It's a dance remix.
It's been in all the clubs for, like, weeks.
And I thought it was a diaper pail deodorizer.
Oh.
The mission is, is that I'm gonna go out for one night.
And I'm gonna be my own person with her own life
with something on her mind besides baby, baby, baby.
Um, so, where are you guys going tonight?
So I'll see you guys tonight, right?
Yeah. Tonight?
Tonight's the premiere of Rob Maggio's orchestral piece, remember?
Oakland East Bay Symphony?
That's tonight?
-Why? You don't want to go? -No. Of course I want to go.
I just...
I have this monster Shakespeare paper to write.
After the concert.
I'll pick you up at 7.
Okay.
-Bye. -Bye.
- See you. - Bye.
How does he do it?
You know, he's got school and sessions
and, you know, he still manages to go out every night.
How do you do it?
I mean, college, that's got to be even harder.
I know.
Thank God for the web, right?
You mean for research?
I guess you could call it that.
What does that mean?
Just that, um,
the web has everything you could need.
Even monster Shakespeare papers you don't have time to write.
-I can't do that. -Why not?
Gee, I don't know. Because it's illegal?
Because it's cheating?
I mean, not to mention the fact that I wouldn't learn anything.
Look, it's just like research.
The ideas are there, but you still got to put them in your own words.
Besides, what do you have to learn?
You obviously know everything already.
Actually, sir, the waiting list for season seats is 9,000 people,
but I'd be happy to make you 9,001.
Sir? Hello?
He hung up.
-They all do. -That's my job now.
Being a professional disappointment to people.
And my parents said I couldn't make a living that way.
So, you got the time to grab a cup of coffee?
Uh, can't. Go to work. Sorry.
What's up?
Nothing much.
Just wanted to see what's going on with you.
Just answering phones, disappointing the masses.
With you and Holly.
What? What do you mean?
Will,
you made it painfully clear this morning
that you don't want to move in with her
even though there's tons of reasons why you should.
And so I asked myself why that might be.
And the reason seems pretty obvious.
-Look, whatever you're thinking-- -You don't like her.
Do you?
-What? -It's obvious, Will.
You don't talk to her. You barely even look at her.
I mean, it's like ever since the wedding
wherever she is, you don't want to be.
-Bailey, but wait, that's not-- -Because she likes you, man.
She likes you a lot.
So she did something that upset you.
Listen, no. That's not...
I like her, too. I really... I do.
You do? Well, so then what is it? What's going on?
Look, why can't it just be the reasons I gave you?
Because we're friends here, Will.
You can tell me the truth, it's okay.
Unless...
Unless you think it's me, like I don't want you there.
If that's what you're worried about then you couldn't be farther off base. Honest.
Will.
We love you, man.
Come on, we want you around.
Look, you don't have to say anything, okay?
Just agree you'll move in there.
Unless... Am I wrong? Is it something else?
No.
Nothing.
Okay.
I'll let Holly know.
Having fun yet?
-What? -Are you having fun?
Oxygen, oxygen. Fun?
You wanted to come out and cut loose, and to have a good time
-And it looks like you're having-- -No, I hate them!
I hate them. They keep dancing and dancing, and they never get tired.
Well, it's 'cause they're professionals, Daph.
No, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm not stripping anymore.
This has to do with this hormone that just entered my bloodstream
when I started breast-feeding.
It's the same hormone makes me, like spark to topics like spit-up.
Maybe I can counteract this with a little more tequila.
Man, look at them.
Stop talking about them. Get out there, quick, before you turn into me.
Oh, no, I don't know.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
My baby pictures.
They're soaking wet.
-Kirsten! -What?
I just said, "Oh, my god. My baby pictures."
Oh, okay. You know what?
Um, in the ladies' room there's a hot air hand dryer.
Okay.
Look at me.
I'm helpless to stop myself.
I am gonna go air dry my baby pictures.
Okay.
-Come on out and play, girl. -Oh, no. I don't know.
You know what? Just-- Oh, God, Dusty.
Okay, uh, so before we get started,
let me just get the gushing part out of the way.
This interview's not about me and you don't need all the details,
but let me just say, if I had half of your strength,
my boyfriend, Henry, would have never gotten away with his
"sleep with my roommates, and blame me for living with irresistible babes" routine.
-No way. -Oh, great.
And, okay, I admit it, I'm kind of half hoping a little rubs off on me,
so I can go home and kick his two-timing butt.
-So-- -You said there was a photographer or something?
Oh, right. I almost forgot.
Sorry.
Okay, um,
smile.
Look like the hero you are.
Okay.
Now, uh, I already know all the details about you and Ned, but, um...
What about now? I mean...
How did all that change?
How you are in relationships since then?
-I mean, are you stronger? -Well--
Or do you still have doormat moments like me with Henry?
Well, uh...
- Truthfully, I don't consciously think about, uh-- -
-One second? -Yeah.
Justin.
What are you doing here?
I broke up with Laura.
You did?
Yeah.
I came to see my Mom and Dad about it.
And you.
I wanted to see you.
I wanted to talk to you.
I wanted to see how you feel about maybe
getting together--
Wow.
You are good.
How's she gonna do it?
Is she going to ask him for his number? Ask him to dance or...
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my god!
She doesn't wait for the guy to make the first move, does she?
Yep, that's our Tai. She's the original feminist.
She's amazing.
God! You guys are all just so...
-Just... -Crazy?
-And slutty? -Burnt out?
- Free. - Oh, no.
The poor little thing. She's all whacked on club soda.
Okay, okay.
Take stripping for instance.
That's a perfect example.
It's fearless.
You know what, honey? You don't have to say that.
No, I'm not just saying that.
I mean, maybe it's not something that I would do,
but that's not because I think it's wrong.
It's because...
Because I'm afraid.
Sometimes fear is a healthy emotion, Kirsten.
I don't know.
'Cause if I'm scared then I'm not really free.
And if I'm not really free--
This is something you think you need?
To get naked in front of people?
No, but...
Why not? If the only reason that I don't is 'cause of what people think
then I'm no different than anyone else.
I'm just someone who follows the rules.
Who gets married and has kids and...
and never does anything out of line
their whole life.
Morning, darling.
Morning.
Hi. Good morning.
I thought we'd celebrate our first morning of cohabitational bliss.
Milk in your coffee?
Yeah.
What's wrong?
Your neck.
-It's all funny. -Oh, it's nothing. It's...
it's a crick. It'll... it'll straighten itself out.
Here. Let me.
Oh, no, you don't have to.
Seriously.
We've been studying this muscle group in class.
Trapezius.
Wow! God, your muscles are tensing.
Okay, take a deep breath.
And let it go.
- Hey. - Hey.
Uh, we were just...
Wow, you know, look at the time. I should really...
I'm, uh, I'm gonna be late for shower.
Uh, but your breakfast?
Right, right. Thank you.
Will, hey, hey, where you going, man?
Sit down, relax. Eat your breakfast.
I just came by to confirm tonight.
-You still free? -Yep.
It's amazing. A celestial convergence.
No tests, no papers, no work.
Just the two of us tonight.
Will, what are you doing tonight?
Yeah, why don't you come with us?
-Yes. -We haven't properly celebrated our betrothal yet.
You've been making excuses all week.
No, you know what? I can't.
I, uh, I need to get settled in here.
See? There he goes again.
Another big fat excuse.
No. You know what? You guys should go, okay?
-Just the two of you. -No way. Holly's right.
You're coming with us.
Matter of fact
Here.
Call Meredith, we'll make it a party.
Will, we want you to come with us.
Okay?
I mean, he basically asked me to break up his wedding,
and then when I won't, he marries her anyway.
And then he has the nerve to show up at my doorstep and tell me he's leaving her,
like I'm supposed to be grateful?
Julia, stop explaining.
-You did the right thing. -You think?
'Cause you know, I don't want it to seem like that's something I recommend,
you know, slamming doors in guys' faces.
Look, I totally understand. This was a special circumstance.
Right, exactly.
This guy has been taking advantage of you for months.
You're just saying to him, "If that's how you plan to treat me,
-then we're not friends." -No, not exactly. I mean...
Believe me, I get it. I've been there.
Justin is just like my ex from last year.
Every time one of his flings wouldn't pan out Jack would come to me crying.
Well, actually, Justin isn't--
He'd sit there and sob about Vilma or Rachel or Jennie.
How they were the love of his life based on one fluid exchange.
But he actually married this girl.
And I knew it was crap, but I slept with him anyway.
No, actually, that isn't Justin at all.
I mean, he...
He still kind of loves me.
Which, I guess, is why it's so hard for me
when he wants me to tell him how I feel, because I... I still...
Well, I guess I still sort of love him, too.
Sure.
I thought I loved Jack.
Well, no, actually, I'm saying--
That's why you shouldn't be modest.
I mean, if he breaks your heart with his selfishness,
don't be sorry for breaking his face with your door.
Um, Victor said I should just come up.
Are you decent? I hope not.
Yes.
-What are you doing here? -Uh, well, I just...
I know you and Shakespeare have a lot to do tonight,
but I thought you deserved a study break.
Don't you ever have homework?
I did it already.
Besides, I missed you.
So, why don't you give me a half an hour
and I'll take you out for two scoops of Mitchell's mint chip in a sugar cone?
-I can't. -With sprinkles.
Todd, I have to rewrite this paper.
Rewrite? But...
Claud, this paper's already written.
-What? -"In conclusion, Juliet's decision--"
Don't read that.
Oh, it's just, you know I haven't finished it.
You know, you are unbelievable, you know that?
You are so smart,
and so talented, and so beautiful.
I honestly don't even know what you're doing with me.
Todd, what are you talking about?
Oh, I'm just lucky is all.
You know what? Maybe...
maybe I need that study break after all.
Well, what about your rewrite?
What about it?
So program is
you entertain Martine while I work on Chuck.
I mean, it should be a breeze.
As long as I don't nod off when she starts her gardening talk.
Hey, come on, you love that stuff.
She talked you into that hydrogen plant that you killed that one time.
Hydrangea. And I didn't kill it, I dried it
Which makes for a very nice display for a flowering...
Anyway, that wasn't my point.
My point was,
maybe we'd have a lot more fun if we just didn't go to some restaurant, you know?
I mean, Daphne and her friends, they're going to this other thing,
this crazy rock theater thing.
Kirsten, you can't be serious.
Rock theater with Chuck and Martine?
Okay, okay, you don't think that they would have fun,
but, I mean, you may be surprised.
Maybe they're dreading this sit-down dinner thing just as much as we are.
But, Kirsten, rock theater?
I mean, I can't even believe you'd want to do that.
Like I said, you'd be surprised.
Well, listen, I mean, if that's how you feel, then great.
You and me, we'll go out and get crazy some night.
Yeah, like that'll ever happen.
It will. Just not tonight.
Uh, just a minute, I'm coming.
I'm coming. Who is it?
-Hey. -I'm sorry. Did...
-did I get the time wrong, or-- -Time? What time is it?
8:30. Well, tomorrow is my deadline, or I wouldn't--
Oh, wow, it's 8:30 already?
Mmm.
Would tomorrow morning be better?
It looks like I just woke you up.
Yeah. You know, um, would that be okay? Tomorrow?
No problem. What time?
- Oh, uh, tomorrow is what? - Hey, Julia.
Want some of that leftover Thai food?
Oh, sorry. Hi.
You know what? I'll call you.
Phoebe, wait.
Everyone seems to be blaming the media
but it says just as much about the women
Parading around on television like beauty contestants.
It's supposed to be about love not the lottery.
I mean, Meredith, don't you agree?
- Yeah. -But... but how is that any different from real life?
People meet like that all the time, at parties and at bars.
On blind dates.
That's how you guys met, isn't it?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
So you agreed to go out without knowing each other at all?
And you hit it off.
Look at you. You're together, right?
Right?
I'm sorry.
We're not together.
Did you tell them we were still dating?
No.
No, not...
They just said they wanted to see you, so I... I set it up.
Yeah. Sorry.
You... you just kept saying "you guys", like we were together, and...
But I didn't mean to stop the whole conversation.
Ha. It's okay.
You know, I... I'm going to go to the ladies' room.
It's back that way.
You and Meredith split up?
When did that happen?
I don't know, a week ago maybe.
You could've said no to tonight if it was going to be uncomfortable for you.
Why?
Because we don't want you to be uncomfortable, Will.
Oh, you don't.
What does that mean?
Look, I don't belong here, okay? Can we just admit that, please.
I mean, I did this whole marrying Holly thing,
so that she would be able to stay here with you,
not with me.
Well, no one's saying--
You guys have been working incredibly hard to make me feel comfortable here,
but I'm really not.
-Will, hang on a second. -No. You know what?
The only thing worse than being in this position
is pretending that I'm not, so please.
I'm going to go get Meredith.
You guys just stay here and hang out with each other
because that's what you really want.
So just do what you want.
Mm! Oh, my God.
Now I know what Dracula must've felt like.
I guess you guys had fun last night, huh?
Yeah. Thanks.
A little too much fun.
Okay, a lot too much fun.
What did you guys do last night?
Oh, Kirsten!
Sorry.
What, something bad happen or something?
No, nothing bad happened.
Nothing happened at all. A big giant nothing.
Dinner with clients.
Mm. Dry toast.
Perfect.
And so, did you guys dance?
-Mm. -Stayed out late?
Hmm.
Looks like you had a couple drinks.
You missed nothing. I'm telling you.
I mean, I've been feeling all this time like I was missing out.
You know, not being here and getting wild with my friends,
but I really missed nothing.
Except watching them pick up on guys they really don't like,
and paying way too much for drinks that I really don't need,
and cotton mouth, and jack-hammer head and dry heaves. Ugh.
I just need a hit of that beautiful daughter of mine.
Hey.
What is that face?
Well, at least you had it once.
At least you know what you're not missing.
Uh, Phoebe?
Excuse me.
-Oh. Hi. -Hi. Uh...
You in the middle of something?
No.
What's up?
Uh, look, I know what you must be thinking about me and Justin.
And I just wanted to make sure if people are going to be reading about me
if I'm supposed to be some kind of example,
I... I'd rather be a good one, you know.
See, the thing is it...
What happened is that Justin came over to the house,
and he was practically in tears. And, I know,
maybe that seems lame that I let that...
...affect me, but he was really upset.
He was really upset. He and his wife, they talked,
and they realized they made this horrible mistake.
Yeah, that... that sounds sad, but--
No... no. Actually, see, I listened to him.
And all of the stuff that I was angry about it just kind of faded away.
And I realized that means something.
-Julia-- -And I know it sounds cliche,
but one thing led to another and, uh...
Why are you telling me this?
I mean, this article doesn't have anything to do with him.
No, I know that.
I just... I... I saw your expression when you left,
and I thought about
what it must look like.
You know, how... how weak I must seem or whatever.
It's none of my business,
But it's just...
I mean, if you're so sure about being with this guy
then why do you have to do so much explaining?
I'll be honest.
I dread teaching this play every year.
Teaching Romeo and Juliet to high school students
always seems to bring out the worst in them.
The ambitious ones rent the Leo movie.
But most of you haven't even read it.
Let alone had an original thought to contribute.
Claudia.
This is college-level writing. You know that, don't you?
It is?
I'm proud of you.
Now, as for the rest of you,
this week's test is on Much Ado About Nothing.
I suggest you actually read this one, people.
Hey.
Hey!
-Oh, so, what you think? -Oh, you were great!
It was... you were so...
Wow! You had that audience in the palm of your hand.
So to speak.
What does that feel like?
All those guys cheering and you're just doing your thing.
In complete control, like you don't even notice them.
Oh, I noticed them.
There was one guy in the corner putting on a show all of his own.
Hey. um, are those your costumes?
Oh, yeah. They're my own designs.
I make a little money on the side selling them to the other girls.
Go ahead. Take a look.
Maybe you want to buy one. Put a little spice in your marriage.
Hey, Kirsten, how about we get going, okay?
Dusty, it was great seeing you, but, you know,
this place sort of brings back all the wrong memories, know what I'm saying?
Or maybe you want to give the stage a try.
Okay, what?
Kirsten dancing?
The girl's got some moves. I've seen them.
Okay, no.
No, wait, Kirsten. You're not actually considering this, are you?
Kirsten?
No, no, no, no, no. Okay, this is not a good idea.
All right, Dusty, you will now help me talk her out of this
because she doesn't need to do this, does she?
I don't know, does she?
It's weird.
We've been apart for so long, and then, now, all of a sudden
to get back together just like that, I...
Yeah, it's weird.
You know what? I...
I have to say, I feel good. I mean, it feels right, you know?
Doesn't it bother you, Justin, at all?
Just...
How easy it was?
I mean, I...
I saw you and I fell into bed with you.
-Yeah, so? I mean-- -Well, doesn't that seem strange?
I mean, no discussion, no conversation.
About what?
I don't know. About all of that stuff.
Laura, the last couple of months.
What do you mean? We talked about this all night long.
About your side, not about mine.
Okay, fine. More pain. Go ahead.
No, I'm... I'm serious, Justin.
You put me through hell.
You asked me whether I thought you should get married,
and when I finally decided to be honest, you told me you were going
to get married anyway. Then you asked me to break up your wedding.
Okay. Look, I told you I was wrong.
I was confused, and I made a mistake.
Look, where is this all coming from?
Two days ago, you were ready to let all of this go.
Justin, look at what we're doing.
We're jumping into bed together because we're both on the rebound,
and we're avoiding the pain.
It's us, though.
We talked about this. We want to be together, right?
Want to be or need to be?
Well, who cares?
Well, I do.
I do, 'cause it feels bad, Justin. It feels weak.
Julia, why do we have to pick everything apart?
You sound like you're trying to talk yourself out of this.
Yeah, well, better that than me trying to talk myself into it.
Hey.
-What's up? -Hey. Not much.
Holly said you hadn't come by her place all day today.
No. You know, my stuff is all there, so if one of those agents comes by,
she can call me and I'll take a cab and say I was over at a friend's house.
We've been over this, Will. It's not going to work that way.
Look, I don't want to be there.
Yeah, I know, but why?
-Why? What is going on with you? -I told you ten times now.
Yeah, but that's not true. You know it's not.
You're my best friend, Will, and Holly is nuts about you. You know that.
Just stop!
Will.
I tried so hard to stop this from happening, Bay, I did.
At first I tried not to feel it, and when that didn't work,
I tried not to move in. I tried not to be where I'd have to be tempted.
-Tempted? What are you-- -Look, it happens.
Okay? You meet someone. You spend time with someone.
Will, hold on. You're losing me here.
And I would've ignored it. I would've just let it wear off, you know.
But we're always together.
You keep pushing us both together.
Wait a minute. You're not saying...
Will.
Come on.
I know. I know it's messed up, okay.
But I didn't want it to happen.
But it did happen.
Didn't it?
Bay, come on. You think I can control that?
Of course, you can, Will.
You don't even think about something like that. You don't even consider it.
How? When my job is to study this woman like homework, how?
You find a way.
If you want to be somebody's friend, Will.
You find a way.
Let's see.
"Climax for Two",
"Brunette On the Inside."
Oh.
Here it is, "I Know Who I Am"
Oh.
Well, just, um, scan it and look for my name.
Hmm, not page one.
Not page two.
No. Nope, nowhere.
It seems to be all about Oota Pflug.
-Who's Oota Pflug? -A female bodybuilder.
Looks pretty impressive.
Oh, yeah?
What does she have to say?
Yadda, yadda, yadda, "Ms. Hemisphere".
Okay, here.
"I told him I loved him,
but if he had to be with more women than me
I was drawing the line. There'd be no more mistakes."
Wait. "No more"?
She took back this guy who cheated on her?
Yeah, apparently.
What does the magazine have to say about that?
"Oota Pflug breaks the rules.
She forgives and forgets,
but she teaches us there's more than one kind of strength.
The strength to remake the rules when there's something important to us."
Well, that's what I did, and they cut me out of the article.
Why is it strong for her and weak for me?
Oh, you should see these pecs.
Kirsten?
In here.
-Hey. -Hey.
What's up? You're in bed reading?
Oh, yeah.
It's just been kind of a long day.
Okay.
But, um,
I got those tickets to that rock theater thing.
I thought we were going to go out tonight and paint the town.
Hmm.
Well, we could.
Kirsten, this was important to you to get out of the house
and get wild or whatever. I mean, you got me excited about it.
I know. I just...
Well, I just sort of changed my mind.
Okay.
So what do you feel like doing?
Just crashing?
Mmm...
Let's...
Let's take a warm bath.
Together.
Okay.
I'll go run the tub.
Okay.
-How about bubbles? -Sounds great.
Hey.
There you are.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Why?
Aren't you supposed to be at a session?
Fraley said you canceled at the last minute. I...
I mean, I thought something might be wrong.
You came all the way over here?
So, what's going on?
Is everything all right?
This is going to sound so stupid.
I failed my "Much Ado" exam.
What?
I didn't actually fail it. I didn't show up.
You know, I felt like I should make up for the paper that I...
Anyway,
I can't do this anymore, Todd.
I mean, I can't do school and sessions and concerts and parties and after-parties.
I can't keep up with you anymore.
I don't know how you do it, but...
but somehow you manage to do everything and be everywhere.
I don't know. It's like part of me is scared that if I don't keep up with you,
I'll be left behind.
And I'll miss everything.
See, I told you that would sound stupid.
So, I guess you have to study, huh?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm studying, too.
But, Todd, what about the session?
You don't want to miss it.
You know, for a really smart person,
you're not very smart sometimes.
What?
Claudia, the only thing I don't want to miss is being with you.
How could you not know that by now?
No, it's the 25-yard line, but you're close to the field.
Now, I can get you near the 50-yard line...
Listen, can I call you back?
Thanks.
-Hey. -Hi.
Holly said you didn't come home last night.
Yeah, well, considering...
I spent the night with my parents.
-Will-- -Listen.
I feel incredibly horrible, okay?
For lying, for telling you... God, for letting it happen--
Will, stop.
Okay?
You don't have to explain. You don't have to apologize.
Okay?
I mean, how could I not understand this?
I'm crazy about her.
Right? So...
Why wouldn't anybody else be?
So, you're not mad?
No, I'm not mad.
Does she know?
Mm-Hmm.
Now I have to tell her.
Why?
Well, she's got to know why I'm suddenly not living with her anymore.
But you are.
What? Excuse me?
You are living with her, Will. You're married.
You have to live there. That's how it works.
But, Bailey, I mean, you know how I feel here.
Look, that's...
Whatever. I trust you.
You're not listening to me.
The point is this is painful for me.
Well, Will, I understand that, but there's...
We don't have a choice.
What are you...
Will,
you got married.
You stood in front of a judge and got married.
And if they find out you lied about that,
that's against the law. She could get deported. And you could go to jail.
But there's got to be a way out. I mean, given what's happening here.
I'm sorry.
This is how it is.
We have to live with this now.
"We"?
I'm sorry.
-Hey. -Hi. Can I come in?
Yeah, yeah. Come in.
What's going on? I thought we weren't--
I was at the grocery store, and I had a craving for something desserty.
It's, uh...
My favorite, triple fudge chunk.
And so, I was standing in line and I was feeling really guilty.
And then I thought, well, why?
I mean, it's just yogurt, protein, calcium.
It's almost fat-free, and then I realized the reason was...
Was that I really wanted it.
And so I kind of feel like by giving into that, that I must be weak.
But maybe... maybe I've got it all backwards.
I mean, maybe by taking what you want it's... it's being strong.
You know?
You still have that TV upstairs in your bedroom?
-Yes. -Yeah.
There's a really fun game show on that'll rot your brain.
Want to watch it with me?
I'll go get some spoons.
Actually, I have some already.
-Oh, you do? -Mm-hmm.
-Huh? -Don't! Don't, don't, don't.